New Esther

There she was, sitting infront of me with those sleepy eyes and that little damage on her upper lip. I looked at her, for several days, wondering, if I should or if I should not. It was in a way a Shakespearian moment, to do or not to do.
Esther in her softness

All so clean.

Up side down and eyes wide open.
The days went by and suddenly I sat there, in the same place, with her head off. It had turned into an Alice in Wonderland kind of moment. And I was the Queen of Hearts, silently saying off with your head.

In no time I cleansed her and carved her eyes. No turning back, ever. Just do it, sounding like a commercial for some shoes. I wanted to run for my life, away from the craziness that I had started. 'Modding' and giving a doll a face up, even if so in small steps. Twice.

Where is my head, she asked with fear in her voice.

Have you seen my head, she asked her loving friend.
No, I have not, she said.
The way down this path was like a horror story. I was scared of cutting, painting, sealing, burning, destroying and making a total mess. I wanted so much and I could see before my eyes what I wanted. Freckles. Natural. Soft. So, I started slowly with highlights and blush. Then it was time for eye lines, some soft colors and oh those eyebrows. No shaking hands, please! And total silence. The lashes made me sweat and after getting them in place, it did not feel right at all. Gladly I did not glue in the beginning, just trusting the little tape that was on the lashes - just in case, knowing me.

So, is this it?
Oh, piggy, piggy. If you only knew what I have been through.
Little she knew what was coming around the corner.

And I was right. Those lashes came off and now I am pleased. This is my first try and did I learn something? Yes, I did. It is learning by doing, after reading and watching a lot of youtube's. Mostly I had fun, even if I wondered along the way what I was doing. Would I do this again? Absolutely. The results are not perfect, but I like her a lot now. And even if Esther at times gave me the feeling, that she does not approve, I think she was happy about that bonding time.
Oh no, not again, she said.
And what is it with the nails, she wondered.
I have found some fabrics and hope to sew her something new, in a different color. I have even made some patterns for new shoes. But that is another adventure.
Esther at this moment.
Freckles, natural and soft.
And looking a little bit p****d off.


  1. Well done Niina! I think you have done a terrific job . . . I like the saying "nothing ventured, nothing gained" it's so true, just look what you've gained. Esther is a cutie and I love her little freckled face. :)

    1. Thank you so very much, Xanadu! Absolutely, sometimes you just have to take that leap of faith and learn something despite the ending. It felt good, even if I was a bit worried along the way. Hugs!

  2. I thought you got a new doll! She looks fabulous and so different! <3

    1. Haha, just old Esther getting a new face! :D But in a way she is now new. And thanks! <3

  3. She looks great!! I think you did an amazing job :D

    1. Thank you, Musume! I really like how she came out. :D

  4. Great job!!! I wouldn't have imagined her in freckles before but now I can't see her any other way!!!! I think the lashes might have been too thick??? maybe a lighter color and thinner fabric would have helped.
    In any case she looks very nice, you were brave and you succeded in your adventure. Here's for many more adventures to come

    1. Thank you, Alejandra! It was a fun but 'sweaty' adventure! :)
      I agree with you, lighter and thinner lashes would have worked much better! Need to see if I can find some in a local store. They have a lot, even if most lashes are thick and dark. Otherwise I will browse the web.
      And absolutely, here's for more adventures! :)

  5. Esther looks so cute, I find you were so brave doing all the carving and face upping! Especially the carving part, i've always been so afraid to do that. You didn't like the upper lashes? I think they were nice but she looks nicer without them, agreeing with Alejandra above that maybe softer colour would look nice. ^^ I hope you will find some. I find that photo where she whispers to piggy-piggy what she's been trough very moving. <3 Esther you're so pretty with frecles.

    1. Thank you, Xaya! It was a huge step, but it felt that I in one way had to take it. When carving, I was afraid of taking to much, so that the eyes would just jump out. O_o Nah, I did not really like the upper lashes. It felt like too much. Still think that she may need some lashes, but smaller and thinner. But she looks nice without too.
      It is really moving with the photo of Esther and her pink friend - have taken photos of those two before and they always connect and seem to like each other a lot. <3

  6. I think you did such a fantastic job on Esther. I really like the softness of her face and those freckles are just so adorable on her. Sometimes, I think you just have to jump into the deep end and go for it. What is it that Yoda says? Do or Do Not, there is no try.

    1. Thank you! So true, it is better to do and then know from experience, than just think about it. Yoda has a good point there! No half-hearted attempts! :)


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